Of Shooting Stars and Little Miracles
by Lady Aurelia Crawley
Summary: The festive season is approaching and our family of three are preparing for their first Christmas together, but after everything they've been through over the past few months, Jane has something playing on her mind. Can she face her fears and be able to enjoy Christmas, New Year and a new life?
1. Chapter 1

**Hey guys, this is the next story in my Lovejoy series and is a sequel to Aisle Tango With You, so you will need to read that and it's prequel to make sense of this one. Happy reading =)**

Jess stood in front of the mirror and nervously examined her appearance. She looked very different from the Jess everyone was used to seeing, with her hair brushed and scraped back and neatly from her face into a bun and dressed all in black. She had on black opaque tights, with a black knee-length dress with a black cardigan over the top. She even had tall black boots which made her look a lot older than her twenty years. Everything she was wearing she'd borrowed from her mum's wardrobe, except the bright red knee-length winter coat she was now barrelling round her shoulders. Just as she was pinning on her red and green poppy broach above several medals, Jane appeared at her bedroom door. She was also dressed smartly in a dark blue dress, with a black cardigan over the top and a red poppy pinned to her lapel.

'Are you ready to go?' She asked.

'As ready as I'll ever be. It feels strange to be doing this without my mum…I mean…I know I am doing it with my mum because you're my mum but…'

'Don't worry sweetheart, I know what you meant,' Jane replied with a small smile. 'I can't even begin to imagine what today must feel like for you.'

'It's strange because I never really got to know my dad, so sometimes I don't know if I'm commemorating his memory or if I'm still mourning his loss.'

'Maybe it's both,' Jane replied thoughtfully as they walked down the stairs towards Lovejoy who was waiting patiently for them.

'Are you ladies ready to go?' He asked cheerfully, but without the usual cheekiness in his tone; he knew that today was a big day for Jess, one in which she needed a lot of support in, and for Jane as well.

'You're not going like that are you?' Jane asked as she looked him up and down, dressed in jeans, a white shirt and black suit jacket over the top. Jess thought he was dressed in a very typical Lovejoy way, and she liked him for feeling comfortable to express himself as such.

'I think he looks fine,' Jess replied.

'Exactly, see Janey; anyway, I've got a suit jacket on haven't I?' He asked rhetorically trying to add a little humour to their situation. 'And how are you feeling Titch?' He asked Jess as his tone became a little more serious, placing his step-daughter into a tight, comforting hug.

'I'm alright. It's not my first Remembrance Day and it won't be my last, it's just a little hard at certain moments, that's all; but I have you both beside me to support me, and knowing that gives me the strength to deal with it,' she said courageously.

'Well unfortunately you won't have me beside you as such, but thankfully this will be my last engagement as Lady Felsham,' Jane explained feeling relief at the idea of officially giving up her role as Lady of the manor, no longer having to go to tedious events, or being expected to talk about things she had no interest in or experience of; she didn't even have to sit on anymore committees if she didn't want.

'Well knowing that you're there is enough for me.'

'Besides, you'll have me, Tinker and Eric,' Lovejoy said, putting Jane a little more at ease.

'That's true; but if you do feel that you need me, just you come and get me Jess. You come first in my life and no one else, and if anyone has a problem with that they can stuff it,' Jane said, which did make Jess giggle. She liked it when her Lady titled mother didn't behave in a Lady like manner, something that was happening more and more in recent weeks, as Jane shook off the shackles of aristocratic life.

As they drove into Kinley they could see the beginnings of the procession starting to form in the town square. Once parked Jane left Lovejoy and Jess, but not before giving her daughter a warm comforting hug and apologetic look, as she then disappeared into the town hall where she was to meet with the mayor and council officials first.

'Do you know what's funny Jess?' Lovejoy asked as they wandered around in search of Tinker and Eric, and just as they were walking passed a plaque dedicated to the residence of Kinley next to the ford.

'What?'

'Your mum unveiled this plaque ten years ago,' he said. 'That's when I first saw her.'

'I thought you met her back at home? She was wearing that little purple number.'

'That is how we met, but I first saw her here. It was when I first met Eric as well. You see I was in hot pursuit of a girl…not like that young lady,' he said with a smirk as he saw Jess' raised brow, 'she'd bought something I wanted. Eric's father had sent him to find me looking for a job and my car at the time refused to start, so we ended up on his motorbike and sidecar. Only problem was, the breaks were a little dodgy, so just as your mother was unveiling this, we sped through the ford, soaking her, the vicar and anyone else that was there that day in a tidal wave of water and sludge. She was drenched,' he laughed at the memory. 'It was a couple of days later that I met her properly in that little purple number you were just talking about.'

Jess laughed at the thought of her mum being soaked and by the man she now loved and it made her feel genuinely happy for the first time that day, and as they rounded the corner back into the square they found Eric and Tinker, who was dressed exceptionally smart with his medals pinned to his chest as well.

'Hi guys,' Jess said a little melancholy as the gravity of the situation began to hit her again as the mayor, local vicar, Jane and others began to come out of the town hall.

They watched as the procession walked out towards the memorial statue with their wreaths. A military brass band began to play familiar remembrance day pieces, as one by one they placed their wreath at the foot of the memorial. As the final wreath was laid in place and the music stopped, Jane approached the podium and began to speak into the microphone. Jess could feel the tears begin to prickle at her eyes, but took comfort when Lovejoy grabbed her hand and placed his other arm around her shoulders and pulled her in close. She thought about how much she missed her dad growing up and about her situation with Alexander, but then she thought about Lovejoy and it brought a smile to her face. She loved him more than she thought possible and he really did feel like her dad, but she still missed that feeling of having had a father her whole life and it hurt her more than she cared to admit.

'Today we commemorate the memories of our fallen heroes, who went to war to fight for a better future for us. Without their sacrifice who knows what kind of world our children would be growing up in now. But we mustn't forget about those who have fallen in more recent conflicts as well, in Ireland and in the Falklands,' Jane said as she began her speech, and looked specifically at Jess when she mentioned the Falklands war, and Jess knew that that was a private commemoration to her dad, something that made her love and respect her mother even more, 'and all around the world. I thank you all for coming here today to remember the men and women of our armed forces who have died for our country and our freedom, and now I welcome the Reverend Nettles to begin our service of thanks giving.'

Jane's words really touched Jess and Jane could see how emotional her daughter was, even though she was in Lovejoy's arms and knew that he was more than capable of comforting her, Jane wasn't going to do what was expected of her anymore. Her daughter needed her and expected her to be there for her, that was the only expectation Jane intended to fulfil from now on. So as she descended the podium she didn't take her place in the line, but walked through the crowd to her daughter. Lovejoy kept a hold of Jess, but let go of her hand, allowing Jane to take hold instead. None of them said anything to the other, even though quite a few people turned to look at where Jane had gone, and some of the official delegates looked at her with confusion and disapproval. But Jane didn't care. As far as she was concerned, her official duty as their Ladyship was now over. She would walk in the procession down to the reception, but she would do it as Jess' mum and not as Lady Jane Felsham of Felsham Hall. Her official duties were now over and done with. As far as she was concerned, now she was just Jane.


	2. Chapter 2

'It's a marshmallow world in the winter...' Jess sang softly as she spread tinsel on the tree, with the music playing in the background and the bright multi-colored lights flickering on and off, reflected in the windows looking out on the blackened grounds of Felsham Hall.

It was very cold outside, lots of ice and frost over a period of a few days, but no snow yet. The weather forecast had threatened it a few times since mid-November, but now that December was beginning, there was that distinct Christmassy feel in the air.

Things felt very different in Felsham Hall since Remembrance Sunday. Jane was very different and her focus was very much centred on Jess and making the next few weeks the best Christmas she'd ever had. She'd done what she'd promised and ensured that she was no longer considered as Lady of the manor by the residents on the Felsham estate. She'd removed herself from almost all of her committees and had said no to every event that people had asked her to attend. It meant that she could focus on the things that were really important to her, Jess and Lovejoy.

As Jess was reaching up to place more ornaments on top of the tree, she heard something jingling at the bottom. When she glanced down she just happened to catch a tail disappear under the braches.

'Toby! Will you get out from under there?!' She playfully scolded her five year old chestnut coloured border terrier, who poked his head out from underneath the six-and-a-half-foot tree for a brief moment before ignoring his owner and going back to playing with the baubles.

Jane was sat in the arm chair by the fire watching her daughter as she happily sang and decorated the tree. They both loved Christmas better than any other time of year, but this one was the most important Christmas Jane had ever had because she was spending it with the two people she loved more than anything. Prue had invited them over to hers for dinner, but they had decided to decline the invitation, the promise of doing something special between just the three of them far too tempting.

'What do you think to this one?' She asked Jess as she looked at the pile of brochures in front of her that she'd picked up from the estate agents in Bury St Edmonds. 'It's got a beautiful garden and plenty of land at the back.'

Ever since their encounter with Alexander, Jane had constantly been on the lookout for a new home for her new family. Jess had assumed that she would want something similar to Felsham Hall, since she was more than capable of affording a country mansion of her own, even without Alexander's vast fortune, but that's not what she wanted. She and Jess had discussed it in great detail one night when Jess had come in to Jane's bedroom to say goodnight.

As per usual Jess had chapped on the door and respectfully waited for Jane to call her in, before climbing in beside her mum, a habit that had first taken Jane by surprise the first time Jess had done it several months earlier, but something that had now become routine.

'I think I'd like to stay near here,' Jess had explained. 'I really like it here and it's where you've built your business. But I suppose there aren't many mansions like this place on the market.'

'Probably not but that suits me to be honest; I'm tired of playing Lady of the manor. I don't want to be known as Lady Jane Felsham anymore, I'm Jane Forbes-Hamilton and mother to you, it's all the titles I need,' she'd explained.

'Are you really going to go back to using your maiden name?' Jess asked a little excitedly, a strange feeling for such an occasion perhaps, but the thought of dis-associating herself with Alexander Felsham in any way she could was just too tempting.

'Certainly I am! I mean it Jess, I don't want this life anymore; I want us to be together without any of this nonsense.' She really did mean it too.

So now Jane found herself looking at what she considered to be her dream homes. Jess had asked that it be a house with age and character, so Jane had chosen several properties that were 18th and 19th century, with lots of brickwork and old beams inside. She wanted a wood burning stove and an agar, with good grounds, stables and a nice garden.

'It's a bit on the dark side isn't it? And it looks awfully small,' Jess replied as she looked at the property her mum was showing her.

'Hmmmm, you could be right about that one I suppose, the windows aren't big enough to let in natural light, so even with decoration it wouldn't be suitable. Alright we'll scrap that one, but maybe this one is nicer,' she said as she handed Jess another picture to look at, just as the front door opened.

'Oh I like this one, this is definitely one I'd like to see,' Jess replied as Lovejoy came in with a beaming smile.

'What have I missed from two of my favourite girls?' He asked as he rubbed his hands together looking frozen to the bone.

'Ah! You're bloody freezing, get away from me!' Jess screeched as he hugged her gently.

'Well isn't that charming from your stepdaughter!' He replied with a cheeky wink as he then turned to Jane, whom he bent down to kiss. Jess watched them together and smiled at how tender and covetous of Jane he was. 'Hello,' he whispered to her as he held her close to his chest.

'Hello,' she whispered back, biting her lips and closing her eyes at his touch as he kissed her forehead.

'Mum and I were just looking at some houses.'

'Great, have you found the perfect one yet?' He asked as he sat on the arm of the chair beside Jane, placing a protective arm around her waist.

'Not yet, but I think we've narrowed the current list to two or three,' Jess replied as she then turned her attentions back to the Christmas tree, just as Jane gave a heavy sigh.

'Are you alright? How you feeling now?' Lovejoy asked her as he placed his hand against her forehead.

'I'm alright, it's just a little virus, I'll be fine in a day or two,' she replied, referring to the fact that she'd been feeling a little off colour for a couple of days. She'd not been 100% ever since she'd caught Jess' cold a few weeks earlier and then caught another virus just after her speech in November.

'Don't be sympathetic to her plight Lovejoy, she's only after the attention, especially after she'd bragged about rarely being sick that often,' Jess joked with a cheeky grin.

'You know something Jess, I think you're right, but you know what did it don't you?' He replied, matching her cheeky tone.

'What's that?'

'That breakfast in bed we made her. She's clearly angling for another one,' he said as he then tickled Jane's side.

'Ah Lovejoy, get off,' she replied as she playfully batted his hands away.

After a few moments of giggling between the three of them, Mrs Cameron walked in, making Jane right herself and behave in a slightly more Lady like manner. The housekeeper had a tea tray in her hand with both tea and coffee on, and placed it on the sideboard for the family of three to help themselves. She gave a slight glare in Lovejoy's direction as per usual, but at least she had come to accept Jess more readily. She now treated the young woman with kindness and care, coming round to the idea that she was Jane's daughter and not Lovejoy's wayward niece.

'Perfect, just what the doctor ordered,' Lovejoy said as he poured some coffee. 'Do you want one Janey?' He asked her, but she'd gone a slightly funny colour.

'No thank you, I think I'll manage with tea,' she said as she poured some tea for herself and Jess. 'What do you think to this one?' She asked as she then passed him the brochure she and Jess had just been looking at. 'It's an old farm house, with stable and a massive field for the horses.'

'Tell you what Janey, it's not a bad choice at all,' Lovejoy said as he looked at the pictures of the grey bricked, L shaped building.

'I'll organise a viewing with the estate agent tomorrow,' Jane said happily as she sipped her tea, and her comment brought a big grin to Jess' face.

'This one is quite nice as well, it looks a bit bigger,' Jess said as she handed them both another brochure. Lovejoy moved himself from the arm of the sofa next to Jane, where she snuggled in close to his side. 'It has a couple of outhouses and stables as well.'

The pictures also showed an old farm house, but unlike the previous one it wasn't L shaped at the front. It had once been a series of two or three farm cottages belonging to a much bigger estate, but had been converted when the current owner had bought them all along with six acres of land. There was a beautiful courtyard to the back of the building, where an extension had been added on as a separate two-bedroom annex. The outhouses were detached from each other, one attached to the back of the house opposite the annex, which was used as an office, the other outhouse was situated further down the driveway. It was currently a garage, but was large enough for three or four cars. Inside, the house had been renovated to a high standard, with old oak beams and a grand fireplace, just what both Jess and Jane wanted. There were two reception rooms, one downstairs and one up, a grand kitchen with an agar and room for a dining area. It was the perfect family home.

'Better add that to the list hadn't we?' Jane said excitedly as she looked at the beautiful home that Jess had already fallen a little in love with, and as she looked at her daughter she couldn't help but smile a little bit more at the thought of them having their own home together, one that Lovejoy might one-day share with them, but it was far too soon for Jane to be giving that any real consideration, wasn't it?

Of course it was, they'd only been together a few short weeks, and everything between them was going so well, she didn't want to spoil it by rushing things…then again, after their night of passion in Scotland, she hadn't been keen on rushing anything. She was too afraid to take things more seriously with him in case it didn't work out. She loved him more than she could imagine possible, and he loved her more than he'd ever loved any woman in the world, he had done for years, and certainly more than Alex did. He treated her like a fine antique, better in fact, with tenderness and endearment, he cherished her, adored her and he never took her for granted. But Jane was afraid of doing something to ruin that. He was her dearest friend and such an amazing father to Jess, what if she spoilt it for her if she took things too fast?

'Mum are you even listening?' Jess said with a slightly concerned look as both she and Lovejoy stared at her; she'd missed their entire conversation and their concerned looks indicated that they'd been trying to get her attention for some time.

'I'm sorry, what were you saying?' She asked.

'Janey what's wrong?' Lovejoy asked with deep concern.

'Oh nothing's wrong, I'm just a little tired, that's all,' she replied as she brushed off their worries.

'You know Janey, if anything is worrying you, you can talk to me about it,' he said quietly with complete conviction and tenderness as he looked into her blue eyes, trying to work out what they were telling him. He knew there was something troubling her, he just couldn't quite figure out what it was.

'I can give you some space if you need it you know,' Jess said, fearing that her presence may have been preventing Jane from saying what she needed to, but Jane brushed them both off again.

'You two worry more than two old women, you know that?' She replied quickly. 'I'm perfectly alright, I promise you; it's just that this virus has really taken it out of me the last few days, it's still making me feel quite sick so I just need a few more days to recover, that's all. Anyway, what was it you were saying?'

'As long as you're sure that's all it is Janey?'

'Perfectly sure,' she replied as she then kissed him. 'So, what was it?'

'It's about Vicki, she rang me this morning to ask if she can come and spend Christmas with me. I haven't told her about us yet, or even about you Jess, so I thought I'd say yes and it'd be the perfect time for you to get to know her.'

'That'll be lovely. You'll love her Jess, she's a sweet girl…'

'And she adores your mum Jess, thinks the world of her,' Lovejoy said as he kissed Jane on the forehead and gave her a squeeze.

'Well who wouldn't. Just as long as she knows she's mine and that I'm not sharing her,' Jess joked with a smile.

'Ah now that's not fair, you expect her to share her father with you,' Lovejoy replied mischievously.

'Yeah but that's different, I'm a woman, I'm allowed to be fickle,' she stumbled for a response, trying and failing to outsmart him.

After a couple of more hours Jess had finished the tree, but was too tired to start on the roof trimmings. Jane had fallen asleep with her head against a cushion and her feet resting on Lovejoy's knees. He carefully moved her feet as he then stood up, realising how late it was. As he stood up and stretched he looked down at her sleeping form.

'You know something Jess, she's even more stunning when she's asleep,' he whispered as he looked at her, not believing for even a second that she was really his, and wondered what more he could do to make her happy. 'There's something playing on her mind though, something's troubling her but I don't know what. She's not ready to tell me yet, but perhaps she'll talk to you about it.'

'I know what you mean, but she just keeps brushing me off; it worries me.'

'Don't worry too much, she's not meaning to hurt you, or me; she's been through a lot in the last six months, we have to remember that, maybe it's just all catching up with her.'

'You're right, but it still worries me,' Jess replied with a creased brow, just as Jane began to stir.

'Janey, I'm heading home,' he whispered as he then knelt down beside her and kissed her as she began to stir. 'No more late night partying for you,' he added with a cheeky grin as she glanced at him through half-closed eyes.

'Scoundrel,' she whispered as he then said goodnight to Jess, who saw him to the door whilst Jane was still trying to wake herself up. As Jess was talking to him, Jane slowly sat up on the edge of the sofa and her sudden movement made her stomach feel as if it was doing somersaults. This winter sickness bug was driving her insane, and had really taken it out of her, more than she'd care to admit to both Lovejoy and Jess. It frustrated her because she knew she had clients to see to over the next couple of days, and she couldn't leave it all to Jess to do. Although Jess had proven herself to be well equipped to deal with their client list, some of their longer standing clients were much harder to deal with, and Jane wouldn't trust them with her daughter. She would much rather them take their unreasonable frustrations out on her, than have them shout at poor Jess.

'Right well I think I'm going to go on up to bed Mum,' Jess said as she came back in.

'Yes I'm going to do as well. We've got a lot to do tomorrow for that Dalrymple house,' she replied casually as they walked up the stairs together, and as they reached the landing just before Jess' room, she stopped and looked at her mother with concern.

'Mum, you would tell me if there was something upsetting you wouldn't you? This isn't the old days you know where you have to keep everything bottled up,' she said.

'I know that sweetheart, but really, everything is alright. I'm just rundown with this damn bug, but it'll go in a couple of days and then we can finish for Christmas for a few weeks,' Jane replied with an exhausted smile.

'Alright, as long as you're sure.'

'Goodnight my darling, sleep well,' Jane said as she held her daughter very close to her and thanked God that she was there, as she did every night since her daughter's return.

'Goodnight Mum, I do love you,' Jess replied as she stifled a yawn.

The next morning Jess trotted happily down the stairs and into the empty kitchen. She knew Jane was up as she'd heard her moving around a little before her, but she was nowhere to be seen.

'Mum?' She called out as she walked out of the kitchen and into Jane's study, where she found her mother looking through her diary.

'Sorry darling, there's so much to do that I thought I'd get a head start. I've just phoned the estate agent about the two houses, we're able to view them both, one this afternoon and the other tomorrow morning, and I've scheduled a catch up appointment with Yvonne Dalrymple that I want you to attend with me.

'Alright when's that for?'

'Today at four o'clock.'

'Alright I think I can make that. Eric and I were planning on going to Cambridge to collect that dining room table and chairs, but we can reschedule that for the day after tomorrow if you'd like?'

'No, no, you can still go ahead and do that, especially since it's for the Dalrymple's. If you're late I can make your apologies. Right, well since we've got that settled, lets grab breakfast and then get right to it, we've got a lot to do.'

Jess loved it when Jane was in work mode, it amused her because Jane was so organised, almost to a military fashion which Jess most certainly was not. She wondered where on earth she got her disorganisation from sometimes, because she knew for a fact that Alexander wasn't like her either.

After breakfast she and Jane had a proper business meeting to discuss everything that needed to be done. They worked very well together when they were in work mode, blitzing through all of their items on their agenda and coming up with suggestions easily.

'Right, well I'll get over to Lavenham for that auction; I'll probably be there all morning but I'll see you at the house about one o'clock?' Jess said she collected her paperwork.

'Yes, but if you have any problems either meet me at the Dalrymple's or phone me,' Jane replied as her daughter then trotted towards her, gave her a kiss on the cheek and a tight squeeze before heading off out in Betty, her morris minor traveller and pride and joy.

After a few minutes of trying to collect her thoughts and feeling glad that she was starting to feel a little better, she realised that she had spoken to soon, and before she knew it she was beginning to feel nauseous again. Up until now she hadn't been physically sick, but this wave of nausea was particularly strong and as Lovejoy walked into the office with a mug of coffee, she found the spell too overpowering as she rushed passed him to the bathroom.

Lovejoy felt confused about what had just happened as he heard the sounds of Jane vomiting, which concerned him. He knew she'd been pushing herself too hard, and this just confirmed his feelings.

'You need to go and rest,' he said kindly once she was out of the bathroom.

'No I don't I'm alright,' she replied shakily.

'Janey, you're as white as a sheet and shaking like a leaf, and if that isn't enough clichés for you, you look as sick as a dog to boot,' he said as he tried to cheer her up a little and hide his true concern.

'No Lovejoy I can't rest. I've got all of this work to do and I've just sent Jess out to do her bit, it's time I did mine as well.'

'Janey, you're not well and you haven't been well on and off for the past few weeks, because you haven't been giving yourself time to rest and recover. I'm saying this because I love you Janey, more than you will ever understand, but please listen to me and do as I say.'

Jane thought about it for a few moments and knew that he was right, but she didn't want to rest and be made to concentrate on her thoughts rather than her work. She nervously fiddled with her hands and bit her lip, until she reluctantly nodded her head.

'Come on, I'll take you back to the house,' he said softly as he went to usher her out, but she paused for a few moments more.

'Can we go back to yours Lovejoy; I don't really want to be at Felsham Hall at the moment,' she said, and even though her request confused him, it was one that he gladly accepted.


	3. Chapter 3

That afternoon Jane began to drive to the house that she and Jess had been wanting to look at. The estate agent had arranged to meet them there and she knew that Jess was heading over herself. She still felt very sick after her bout of vomiting in the morning, and as she drove with her window down a fraction, she felt the relief of the fresh, albeit it cold, air. She was trying desperately hard to hide her sickness from Lovejoy and Jess, they'd only worry about her unduly if they knew, but since the intensity of it was growing each day, it was becoming increasingly difficult to hide, and she didn't know what to do about it.

She allowed her mind to wander as she drove, thinking about Jess and their first Christmas together. She really wanted to make it exceptionally special for them both and had already started buying some things for her and was going to order in their food in the next couple of days. As she drove through Bury St Edmonds she saw the shops lined with decorations, and even passed a couple with the perfect gifts for Jess. She made a mental note to go back to them before she headed home after the viewing, and as she rounded the corner her face lit up with pure delight, as she passed the baby shop that she'd once bought some clothes for Jess in. She'd always known that it was still there, but before Jess' return she always ignored it and focussed on the road ahead, but today she allowed herself to look inside and be filled with feelings of joy and delight. She really did feel lucky and loved her daughter more than she loved anything else in the world.

It took her another half hour before she turned into the narrow country lane that led to the farm cottage; the lane was lined with trees with fields either side of it, and just as she got to the top of a small hill the house came into view where she saw Jess and a young man waiting for her. The house already looked stunning and Jane conceded that Jess definitely had good taste.

'Ah this is my mum now,' Jess said to the young estate agent Andrew, and walked towards the range rover as Jane climbed out.

'I'm so sorry I'm late,' Jane said as she hugged her daughter tightly and then fiddled with her bag upon her shoulder. 'I was a little later than I wanted to be at the Dalrymple's and then the car wouldn't start, doesn't much like the cold I don't think, or maybe the battery needs replacing, either way I'm here now,' she explained feeling a little flustered and not giving Jess the real reason, although the part about the car was true.

'Mum are you alright? It's not like you to be late and your cheeks are very flushed,' Jess said with concern.

'Yes darling I'm fine, I just hate to be late, you know that, it puts me all wrong,' she said as she then held out her hand to the young man. 'I'm sorry to have kept you waiting,' she said to him.

'Not at all Ms Forbes-Hamilton, we've not been waiting long at all. We used the time to have a look around the grounds, but we've not been inside yet,' he explained, and Jess stifled a small giggle at the use of Jane's name, it felt so strange to not hear "Lady Felsham", but Jane smiled. It was the first time someone had used her maiden name in over twenty years, but it felt good to hear it. 'So I'll just let you into the hall first of all and then I'll tell you a bit about the house.'

They walked in through the old wooden doors, which both Jane and Jess knew they would change immediately if they bought it. The doors were too old, full of wormholes and with a large gap in between, which made the hall feel icy cold. Not a great second impression, considering their first from the outside had been so keen, but the hall itself was stunning. It was long but quite wide, with a stunning wooden floor and a grand spiral staircase, which they were both grateful for being carpeted. The walls were decorated a very light pastel colour, which Jane planned in her head to change, since it made the room feel a little cold. She wanted her new home to feel warm and inviting.

'So the house originally belonged to a much bigger estate and was built as a total of eight farm hand cottages, that is four to the front and then four to the rear. When the estate was sold the farm cottages were sold as well and the owner received planning permission to convert all eight into one large house. So as you can see from the entrance hall here this used to be the hallway from the first cottage, plus the kitchen from the cottage behind, where the staircase has been added on,' Andrew explained as he guided them round.

'This has got nice potential Mum,' Jess said, as she too had her designer's hat on and thought about all of the things they could do with it. As they followed him to the left of the hallway they entered a stunning, open planned, oak beamed kitchen and dining area, which quite took Jane's breath away.

It had an old fashioned farmhouse stone sink, agar and deep red tiles; it felt warm and inviting, especially when you entered the dining area, which was large, but homely with a glorious wood burning stove on a grey slate hearth. There were large windows which let in a lot of natural sunlight, which streamed in through gloriously. Their impression had just improved again and they were both feeling very excited. Just to the right of the dining area was a set of glass double doors which led into a sort of conservatory.

'This room used to be the sitting room to the house at the rear, but when it was converted they added floor length windows to allow more light in. You can actually pull those back as the current owners added them this year as a folding door to allow ease of access into the garden.' Jess was in love, that's for sure. The room was quaint and felt like, what she would call, a chill-out area; it was somewhere to listen to music or read. She loved the piano that was in the corner as well, which made her think about the piano back at Felsham Hall, she hoped that she could take it with her. She hadn't played in years, but hoped that she could take it up again once they'd moved.

The garden outside was a good size and had a neat grassed area, flower beds and rockery at the bottom, complete with a small water feature. It would be easy for them to manage without having to involve anyone else and the little patio area would be great to sit out on during the summer months.

'The garden is quite the suntrap when it's out,' Andrew explained, noticing Jess watching outside.

'I think it's perfect!' She whispered with a smile.

Next he showed them the downstairs bathroom, and then the very large and very spacious sitting room, complete with another grand fireplace with wood burning stove. Then Andrew took them upstairs through a hidden door in the living room, a feature that made Jess fall in love with the house even more.

'All of the cottages had this originally, so this is the original staircase, still in immaculate condition. Even though it's hidden between the walls, it actually gets a lot of light from the small window at the top of the landing,' Andrew explained.

But, as Jess trotted after him with excitement, Jane was beginning to feel sick again, which was rather marring her enjoyment. She loved the look of the house and its feel, it had a nice atmosphere and she could imagine her family living in it. She had noticed the large beams that were running throughout each room, one of her favourite features of a house, but as she glanced up the movement made her feel a little light headed. Jess had noticed her mum's quiet and rather unusual behaviour, which was making her more and more concerned. Perhaps Jane didn't like the house as much she'd thought, but didn't want to say anything about it.

'Is everything alri…'

'Everything is fine Jess,' Jane replied rather bluntly and in a tone that Jess wasn't used to hearing from her mum, which made her grit her teeth in annoyance. She couldn't think what it was that she'd done to piss her mum off, but if she didn't tell her soon she was going to get irritable herself.

'There are actually a total of five bedrooms here in the main house; when the cottages were converted they knocked all of the upper floor into one and then rebuilt the rooms, so there aren't as many of the original features up here as there are downstairs.'

Jess had already picked out her bedroom, she thought the décor was perfect and she intended on doing very little to it. It also had an en suit, as did the master bedroom, and there was also a much larger family bathroom a little further down the hallway, and an upstairs living room with large windows looking out onto the fields.

Jane stared out onto the paddocks and thought about her horses and how ideal it would be for them. She thought about Jess and how happy the two of them would be together in this house and that did make her smile, but as she continued to think about Jess her mind wandered to the time around when she found out she was pregnant with her, and thought about her excitement and about how she'd planned their future together then too, and as she thought about that time with mixed emotions, her hand instinctively went to her stomach.

'Right well I've got the annex still to show you, but I'll let you have a look around here on your own first of all, let you get a feel for the place and then when you're done just come and find me,' Andrew said as he then turned and walked away.

'Well? What do you think?' Jess asked with excitement.

'It's beautiful,' Jane replied with a weak smile, but Jess could only see how tired and frail her mother was looking, she could see that something was playing on Jane's mind.

'I wish you'd talk to me Mum and tell me what's going on with you,' she said a little impatiently, but out of concern rather than bad temperedness.

'I don't know what you mean sweetheart, I…'

'Don't give me that crap Mum, I know there's something troubling you…' Jess began to say as Jane then walked passed her daughter, who thought that she was trying to avoid her again, but instead she was rushing towards the bathroom. 'Mum seriously, you're worrying me with all of this, you've been so sick lately and…' but as they reached the bathroom Jane lurched into the sink where she was sick again. Jess rubbed her back in comfort and stopped her lecture, but her brow was furrowed deeply. She wanted answers and she wanted them now.

'Can you pass me some tissue please?' Jane asked shakily, and Jess lovingly obeyed.

'Are you ready to talk to me yet?' Jess asked softly, but firmly, as she passed the issue to her, and this time her voice was much kinder than it had been a moment before, and sat on the lid of the toilet, as Jane perched herself on the edge of the bath tub.

It was clear that she was nervous as she wiped her mouth and thought about what she was going to say. She opened and closed her mouth a couple of times before she could even consider forming a coherent sentence. The last thing she wanted to do was to ruin her relationship with Jess. Even though they were good together and loved each other very much, it was still too early in their relationship for the possibility of something like this, she wasn't sure what Jess' reaction would be.

'This is so hard for me to say, especially to you of all people,' she began as she grew upset, and Jess feared the worst as she then went to her and knelt on the floor beside her, cupping her hands in hers.

'You're not seriously ill are you Mum?' She whispered as she became upset as well, fearing that she was about to lose her mum again, since this was eerily similar to the conversation she'd had with her adoptive mother when she was fifteen, the night Kay told her daughter that she had cancer.

'No, I'm not ill exactly.'

'Well then what is it? Whatever it is, I can help you through it.'

'I don't know for sure, because I've been trying to put it out of my mind and convince myself that I wasn't right, but…it can't be anything else, the only other time I was as sick as this…well, it was when I was pregnant with you,' Jane said and she expected Jess to react angrily.

'You're pregnant?!' Jess exclaimed with quiet excitement.

'I don't know, maybe,' Jane replied as she allowed tears to roll down her face, and on seeing that Jane was upset rather than excited as well, she feared the worst and began to believe she was experiencing Déjà vu.

'But that's something wonderful and to be celebrated isn't it?' She replied, desperately trying to encourage her mother.

'Is it?' Jane replied with surprise. 'I thought you'd hate the idea.'

'Why would you think that Mum? I want you to be happy…'

'But what about what you were saying last night, about not wanting to share me?'

'You should know by now not to take me seriously, and I was only joking.'

'I realise that, but I think part of you does think that, part of me thinks that too I guess. I missed out on so much of your life and I don't want to miss out on any more,' Jane said a little more calmly as she wiped her eyes, just as Andrew returned to check on them.

'Is everything alright?' He asked, putting paid to their conversation and not giving Jess the proper opportunity to tell her mother what she really thought.

'Yes thank you. We didn't realise how long we'd been,' Jess said as she quickly approached him to shield Jane, giving her a moment to collect her thoughts and properly wipe her face.

'Well shall we go to the annex?' He asked as he then led them outside into the cold air again.

Jane didn't really pay any attention to what Andrew was saying now, as she was too afraid of what had just happened. She felt better after being sick, and in a way she felt better for being honest with Jess, but now she feared what the results would be. Jess was trying to be as comforting as she could be under the circumstances. Whilst in the annex, which was a much smaller space compared to the main house, she would give Jane's hand a gentle squeeze, which was of some comfort, but Jane wasn't certain what it all meant exactly.

'Well thank you for showing us round,' Jess said once they were outside again, having already looked at the stables, paddock and six acres of land that belonged to the house. 'We'll have a think about it and be in touch,' she added as Jane hovered in the background.

'Yes thank you very much,' she said, wanting to get it over and done with so that she could talk to Jess properly, and breathed a sigh of relief as they finally watched as the estate agent's car drove away.

'Mum, I love you,' Jess said as she turned to face Jane, getting her response in quickly before Jane even had the chance to think. 'You're a wonderful human being, a fabulous person, and the most amazing mum; I am so lucky that I've had a second chance with you and I love you more than you know,' she explained as she hugged her mum tightly. 'Can we continue this conversation in the car? I'm bloody freezing,' she added with a smile as she wrapped her scarf tighter round her neck and pulled her hat down round her ears. Jane smiled as she hugged her daughter again and then led her towards the warmth of the range rover.

They were silent for a few moments as she switched on the engine and blasted the heater onto them, warming them up within a couple of minutes. She looked much calmer than she had done earlier, but still looked as if she was on the verge of tears.

'I'm sorry about the way I reacted earlier, I don't know what came over me,' she said apologetically.

'Well I do, fear,' Jess said simply as she took a hold her Jane's hand. 'The only thing I can't quite fathom is why you're so afraid. You've longed for this for so long…'

'Yes but it was you that I longed for Jess. What we have together is more beautiful than I could have ever imagined possible, but I don't want to do anything to jeopardise that.'

'Ah I see, are you afraid that I'm going to feel put out?'

'Yes, I suppose I am. We're still building our relationship after all, and trying to create a new life together…'

'And a baby would be part of that new life!'

'But what about everything else we have to consider? There's Lovejoy for a start…'

'Wait, is he not the father?!' Jess exclaimed with dismay, she'd made the assumption that he was, but maybe it was Alexander's, maybe she was further along than Jess had guest, but of course she needn't have worried.

'Oh yes, it is his, assuming that I am pregnant of course.'

'Haven't you done a test yet?'

'No, I'll need to book an appointment with the doctor. The home kits are frightful things and not especially accurate,' Jane replied naively, which made Jess giggle.

'Mum, things have progressed a lot in twenty years, they're much more accurate than they used to be and a whole lot simpler,' Jess laughed, remembering the story Jane had told her about the kit she'd bought when she thought she was pregnant with her. 'But what were you going to say about Lovejoy? He's great with kids.'

'Oh I know he is; it isn't that so much that worries me, it's just that we've barely been together very long, it hasn't even been two months yet, and then there's the divorce, if I am pregnant and Alexander finds out it'll give him grounds to claim adultery on my part and refuse any or all of my demands. Then there's also the small fact of my birthday next month, I am going to be thirty-nine you know; I'm nearly bloody forty for crying out loud!'

'And what of it? Forty isn't exactly old is it? If you are pregnant then you're going to be an amazing mum to it as much as you are to me. The Lovejoy thing isn't really a problem either; if you were my age and didn't know him I could see your point, but you've known each other for ten years, probably been in love with each other for most of that, and you're both reasonably responsible adults, so next problem please.'

'Alexander? What do I do about him?'

'Nothing, absolutely nothing. He can go fu…'

'Jessica…!'

'…take a run and jump as far as I care. He wouldn't do anything to implicate himself trust me,' Jess replied, thinking back to the afternoon at the hotel, when she saw Alexander with his mistress, who he'd been quite clearly seeing long before he and Jane ever parted ways, since his girlfriend had been about six months pregnant at the time; a fact that Jane still had no idea of, since only Jess had seen them.

'Implicate himself in what way?' Jane asked a little confused.

'Never mind what that means, the important thing is that you celebrate this, and stop trying to find excuses. I know you're afraid, but this isn't like before. Lovejoy and I love you and want to be with you as a happy little family, and this is just the cherry on the cake,' Jess replied softly with a broad grin as she then hugged her mum tightly. 'This is going to be fantastic, I'm so excited! I'm going to be a big sister!' She exclaimed, and finally Jane really did feel excited, genuinely ecstatic about the possibility of becoming a mother again, even though it saddened her slightly because it was her second pregnancy, but in a way it felt like her first. 'Right, I think we need to get back home before the owners come back and find us still here. I'll meet you back there,' she said as she then opened the door, braced herself against the cold and was about to shut the door when she looked lovingly at her mum and said, 'I do love you mum,' before slamming it closed.

Jane sat still for just a few moments as she watched Jess climbing into Betty and then slowly rolling out of the drive and down the little lane. She couldn't believe what had just happened and how grown-up and genuine Jess had dealt with the situation. Even though she didn't admit it, Jane knew that a small part of Jess must have been hurt by the revelation, but she never let on if that was how she felt.

As she drove back down the country roads to Felsham Hall she felt as if a weight had been lifted from her shoulders. She was beginning to feel sick again, but it wasn't as intense at the moment, thankfully. As she drove into Kinley she still hadn't seen Jess' car in front of her, which surprised and concerned her, since she was certain she'd have seen her at some point; she hadn't left much before she had, and when she drove into the drive at Felsham Hall, her concern turned to worry when she didn't see Betty already there.

'Shit,' she whispered to herself, fearing that her news might have upset Jess after all. She walked into the house and found Mrs Cameron tidying in the sitting room. 'Mrs Cameron has Jess called at all?'

'No Ma'am she hasn't,' she replied, with a tone that matched Jane's as the housekeeper looked at Jane as she paced up and down the hallway.

Jess arrived home shortly after Jane, in fact it was only ten minutes after, but it had felt like a life time to Jane, who breathed such an audible sigh of relief Jess was really worried she'd done something wrong.

'Where have you been?!' Jane said with urgent worry.

'I just popped to the shop!' Jess exclaimed with utter confusion at her mum's reaction. She really must be hormonal.

Once the drama of Jess' return had subsided, Jess took Jane into her bedroom for a few moments. There were so many things that she wanted to ask her and talk about. So they sat side by side on Jess' bed and talked some more.

'I want you to feel like you can celebrate this mum,' Jess said. 'I really am alright about it all I promise you.'

'I know sweetheart. You're a very special girl, you know that? You're kinder than anyone else I've ever met and with a very big heart, you've been through so much sadness in your life, I just don't want to do anything to make you feel upset ever again, or make you feel pushed out or that you don't matter to me,' Jane explained tearfully as she cupped her daughter's cheek, who now also had tears in her eyes.

'You know something, if you'd have told me six months ago after losing my mum that I'd be sat here with you having this conversation and feeling the way I do now, I'd never have believed you. I never thought that I'd have wanted a relationship with you of any kind, let alone want you to be my mum; but what we have really is special, and you mean so much to me, I would never want to jeopardise your happiness in any way, or have you question something because of me. And because of everything that happened with me, it makes this baby special, because we're going to enjoy every second of it together because we know the truth about what we've both been through,' Jess explained as she tried to stop some stray tears rolling down her cheeks, but failing. Jane hugged Jess tightly, who hugged her mum back just as tight before pulling away and grabbing the small shopping bag she'd thrown onto the bed.

'You know something Jess, I really don't deserve you,' Jane replied as she wiped her eyes.

'Ha, you're probably not going to be saying that in a moment when I make you do this,' Jess said with a cheeky wee grin as she took out a long thin box with a pregnancy testing kit inside.

'What on earth do you do with it?' Jane asked with confusion, things really had become simpler in twenty years.

'You pee on it, well, on the test paper attached to the white stick. It's a bit awkward as you have to have a good aim and be a contortionist, but it's pretty simple,' Jess replied innocently, but received a look from Jane.

'You seem to know an awful lot about it Jess,' she commented, making Jess freeze for a brief moment before gathering her thoughts.

'Yeah…well…we won't go into that…but we will get you into the bathroom please,' she said quickly as she dragged Jane from the bed and pushed her into the bathroom.

Jane followed Jess' instructions and those on the information leaflet, whilst Jess paced around her room waiting impatiently. She prayed that it would be positive. She wanted this so much for her mum and for Lovejoy too, something to cement their relationship together, and what an amazing Christmas they'd really have then and as the door opened she looked at her mum expectantly.

'Well?!'

'I don't know yet; I have another couple of minutes to wait,' Jane replied.

They sat together again on the bed feeling very nervous but excited. However, Jane was curious to know about Jess' comment before she'd taken the test.

'Darling, what did yo...'

'I knew you were going to ask about that. I've bought several over the years for Allison...' not exactly a lie, just not the whole truth. Jess wasn't going to say anything further, but something made her go on. She didn't think it was right to keep anything from her mum, not anymore. '...and I may have had to take one myself once...'

'Jessica!' Jane was shocked.

'You don't need to give me that look Mum, believe me I know!' She replied feeling a little ashamed.

'What happened?' Jane replied sternly.

'It happened just after I found out mum was ill. Things were really awful for those few weeks and I wasn't in a great place. So me and Allison went out into a few of the bars, I got kinda drunk and you know...shit happened. He was a really nice guy actually...but anyway I thought I was pregnant it was a false alarm and that's that. Now back to you,' Jess explained really quickly.

Jane didn't really know what to say. It was something she'd never thought about before, but made her realise that there was still a lot about her daughter that she didn't know.

'That's been two minutes,' Jess said again, really trying to draw Jane's attention away from her, but Jane was nervous and shook as she held the test in her hand.

'I don't think I can look,' she said as she handed it to Jess.

'Ew you peed on this, but alright,' she joked as she tried to ease the tension as she looked at the two lines on the test, and then smiled with tears in her eyes.

'Jess, hurry up and tell me please, put me out of my misery!'

'It's positive!' Jess said, with tear completely falling down her cheeks now, as she smiled with almighty delight at her mum, who was in total shock. Suspecting she had been pregnant was one thing, but knowing it to be true was something very different. She sat in complete stunned silence for a few moments, until she felt Jess lunge at her and throw her arms around her neck.

'Let me see,' she said after a few minutes, as Jess then passed her the test. And there it was, glowing like a red beacon of joy, the two lines which formed a cross. She was pregnant again, and this time it was going to be so different for her.


	4. Chapter 4

'Part of me still can't believe it,' Jane said as she sat with Jess at the kitchen table, two mugs of hot chocolate in front of them and two big beaming smiles.

'But it is a good thing, isn't it?'

'Yes it is sweetheart. I'm sorry about earlier on, I was just being…'

'Hormonal! It's alright Mum, I get it. I know you're a little afraid, because of what happened with me and Alexander, but this time is different. Lovejoy is going to be so over the moon about this baby and we're going to be such an amazing family together. We'll need to think about moving soon though,' Jess replied happily.

'Yes we will, somewhere the four of us can live, feels strange to say it like that.'

'Well you'd better start believing it Mum, because it's happening. When are you going to tell him?' Jess asked as she took a sip from her hot chocolate and felt warm.

'Tell who?!'

'Lovejoy of course…who do you think I mea…ooooohhhh!' Jess replied, confused at first. 'Mum you really don't need to worry about Alexander anymore, he isn't going to be a problem, trust me,' she added as she cupped Jane's hand.

'I know you keep saying that, but it does worry me. It isn't about the money; to be honest, I couldn't care about any of that, this house or even about teaching Alexander a lesson, it's about me protecting you, as it always has been darling, and I guess I'm now protecting the little one growing inside me too,' she explained with a small smile of disbelief at her words.

'I know that you want to protect me Mum, but I'm going to protect you too, you and my baby brother of sister,' Jess replied, biting her lip at the thought of Alexander and his girlfriend and their baby. If Jane knew, maybe it'd make her feel more relaxed about her situation, but on the other hand it could distress her, and the last thing that Jess wanted to do was distress her mum, especially in her condition. 'Don't worry Mum, whatever happens, everything is going to be great,' she added, just as Lovejoy walked in.

'What is?' He asked as he trotted happily into the warmth of the kitchen, for the amount of time that he'd been spending at Felsham Hall lately, he really ought to have been living there.

'Oh Mum and I were just discussing the house…'

'It's absolutely perfect Lovejoy,' Jane added quickly. 'It's a fantastic size, great grounds and even an external studio for Jess and office for us…you could even use the other outhouse as a store for your antiques.'

He was touched that she'd thought about him in her's and Jess' decision, and slightly surprised. He knew that Jess would be at the top of her list of people she wanted to please with the decision, but he'd never considered that she'd think of them and their relationship as a key part.

'It sounds amazing; will you put an offer in on it?' He asked.

'I think we might do, but we'll see what the house tomorrow is like, and then make a proper decision after that. You should come with us, if you want to that is,' Jane suggested, feeling a little shy about asking him, fearing that she might be rushing him, especially after she had been the one who'd wanted to take their relationship very slowly.

'Well wouldn't that be fun?' He replied with a broad smile. 'I can then take you both out for lunch, my treat.'

'Great, I'm all excited now,' Jess said with a massive big smile as she then stood up. 'Right, I'm going to get started on some more of those drawings for the Dalrymples and I'll leave you two to it,' she added as she kissed Jane excitedly on the cheek and then gave Lovejoy a massive hug before adding, 'oh I'm so happy and excited.'

'What was that all about?' Lovejoy asked Jane once Jess had skipped out of the kitchen.

'Oh nothing really, she's just excited about Christmas in a couple of weeks and the new house and everything.'

'Well, she deserves to be happy and excited, it's great to see,' he beamed.

'Would you like some tea? I'm just about to make a fresh pot,' she said as she got up and put the kettle on, and whilst she stood waiting for it to boil, Lovejoy joined her, with his arms wrapped around her waist as he nuzzled her neck from behind, a gesture more poignant that he realised.

'Hmmm you smell good Janey; that's definitely a new perfume,' he hummed.

'It's one Jess bought me,' she replied in a dreamy tone, loving the sensation of being wrapped in his arms. After the day she'd had with her nerves and her sickness, she felt the need to be loved and cherished, and whenever she was with Lovejoy, she really did feel it; she just hoped that her news would be met with same enthusiasm.

'How are you feeling now? After that episode this morning I mean,' he whispered, still kissing and nuzzling her neck.

'A lot better than I did earlier. I'm sorry about all of that, I don't know what came over me,' she replied as she turned in his arms to face him.

'Well it's like I said, you've been working yourself far too hard, you haven't taken a proper break since you've had this stomach bug. You've got me worried Janey, I won't deny it, so I think you should let me take you out to dinner tonight and let Jess deal with the rest of the Dalrymple job, she's more than capable.'

'That does sound lovely, but maybe another night? I just feel like staying in tonight and resting up, I'm feeling rather tired. Perhaps we can order a pizza and watch a movie, Jess has been nagging me to death for a movie and pizza night for weeks, now seems like the perfect time. And we've nearly completed the Dalrymple's house, so I'll be able to take full holiday leave over Christmas and New Year, without leaving Jess to manage on her own.'

'Alright Janey, whatever you command I shall deliver,' Lovejoy replied lovingly, as he looked into her eyes and wondered what she was thinking about. He could tell there was something troubling her, and hoped that she would start to open up to him soon, but he didn't want to push her either. He kissed her gently, with true love, devotion and tenderness, which she not only reciprocated, but took comfort in. She was nervous about the possibility that he would react badly to their news, and may ruin what they had together.

That night the three of them sat together in the living room, popcorn between them and pizza still in the boxes on the coffee table, watching a comedy on TV. Jane nuzzled into Lovejoy's side, both covered by a blanket as she laid on the sofa, whilst Jess sat on the floor by the fire, surrounded by all three dogs, who were fast asleep. Jane had even taken pity on Ellie and told Jess to bring her inside out of the cold; so the (not so) little rabbit hopped around the living room, hiding behind the curtains and furniture and occasionally moving towards the sleeping dogs, who would open an eye at her, before quickly going back to sleep.

Jane was feeling a lot better, both with her morning sickness and about how she felt about the baby and their circumstances and Jess' reaction, but she was still nervous about telling Lovejoy.

'I know I'm probably being irrational,' she said to Jess the next morning as they wandered around the house with the estate agent.

'You are,' Jess replied.

'But you have to understand how I feel darling. I never thought for one second when I discovered I was pregnant with you that Alex would react the way he did, but there I was nine months later watching as a social worker drove off with you; I can't have that happen to me again,' Jane explained as she began to get a little teary, so Jess stopped in the living room of the house, grateful that the agent had allowed them to look around themselves, and sat her mum on the sofa.

'Mum, you really don't need to worry about this. Lovejoy loves you, more than I've ever seen someone love another, and he's going to be so over the moon when you tell him; but even if he isn't, you've got me, and I'm not going to let anything happen to you or our baby. This is going to be amazing for the three of us, you just have to have the courage to believe that,' Jess replied maturely, and then grimaced at the look on Jane's face. 'If you're going to throw up again can you give me fair warning please? Dirty nappies and late nights I'll cope with, but people being sick is quite something else,' she joked.

'No I'm not going to throw up again, well not yet anyway; it's just this room, I'm not very taken with it at all.'

'Yeah I know what you mean; it's nice and all, but it just doesn't have the same feel that yesterday's one has,' Jess agreed as she looked around the room properly.

'I don't like the fireplaces, or the kitchen, although the garden and grounds are nice…'

'Just not as nice as the other one is it?'

'Hmmm….do you think we've made a decision?'

'I'd say so,' Jess replied, as she then stood up and they walked outside together. They thanked the agent for showing them around, got into the range rover and then began the hour long journey home.

'I'll call Andrew the moment we get in, ask if we can have another viewing of that house as soon as possible and then Lovejoy can come with us,' Jane explained as she drove carefully round each twist and bend.

With her promise made Jane did exactly that, and a few days later all three of them were back looking at the first house they'd visited. Lovejoy had seen the photographs and had listened to their descriptions, but neither had done the house justice. It was stunning and perfect for the three of them, or so he thought. And just as Janey had suggested, the garage was perfect for him to store his antiques. Jess had excitedly taken him into the annex which would be given to her as her space for her art and sculpting, and she felt excited as she told him everything she'd do to it. As far as the girls were concerned, the house was already theirs, but all they needed to do now was make an offer. The house was on offer for an absolute steal as far as Jane was concerned and well under her budget, for a quick sale, which was great news for them, but problematic when they'd heard another couple had also put in an offer. It was an agonising week for them as they waited, somewhat impatiently, for the phone to ring, until finally it arrived just a week before Christmas.

'I'm so glad that job is finished,' Jane said as she pulled her car into the drive outside Felsham Hall, referring to the fact that she and Jess had just come from the Dalrymple's, having shown them round their beautifully decorated and furnished home, they'd had nothing but praise to give Jane, who had quickly directed them to Jess. 'Believe me when I say the work was all my daughter's. I guided her and assisted, but she did most of the hard work.'

'Well young lady, you've clearly got your mother's talent,' Yvonne Dalrymple had said.

'She's a great teacher and I've learnt a lot from working on your home,' Jess replied shyly.

Jane sang her praises all the way home, she was delighted and proud and repeated everything that they had said about Jess, making Jess blush as she replied, 'I know Mum, I was there.' She was rather embarrassed and proud at the same time and they talked happily once they got out at Felsham Hall, and just as Jane was putting her belongings down in the hallway, Mrs Cameron came rushing out of the study.

'Ma'am there's a telephone call for you, Mr Andrew Smyth from the estate agent,' she said with urgency, which made both Jess and Jane rush to the phone.

Jess listened to Jane's conversation intently, but since Jane only answered with "uh huh" and "yeah", Jess could only assume from her mother's beaming smile that it was good news.

'Thank you Andrew, thank you so very much!' Jane exclaimed with delight as she then placed the receiver onto its holder and turned to face her daughter. 'We got it! Our offer has been accepted!'

'Mum that's fantastic!' Jess squealed as she leapt up from the arm of the sofa.

'Wait until I tell Lovejoy, he's going to be over the moon!'

'It's going to be fantastic Mum, our own place, where we can create our own memories, with our new baby,' she said as she hugged Jane tightly, 'I don't think I could be any happier.'

Lovejoy was of course delighted by their news when he arrived later that evening, having spent the whole day trailing round the auctions with Eric and Tinker. He'd thought of nothing else all day though, and had even thought about how different Jane had been behaving in the last week. Perhaps her previous behaviour had been because of the stress of working for the Dalrymple's? Whatever it was though he was glad she was seeming more relaxed, although his concern still lingered after she'd mentioned that she still wasn't feeling well, but with only a couple of days left now until Christmas, maybe the joy of the festivities was all she needed.

'Have you told him yet?' Jess asked Jane in her bedroom the day before Christmas eve. They were both up early with a lot to do before the big day, especially since Lovejoy's daughter Vicki was due to arrive the next day. Jess was excited to meet her new stepsister, but apprehensive. She wasn't sure how she felt about meeting new people anymore, ever since her encounter with Livinia Felsham.

Jane grimaced at Jess' question, making her daughter raise her eyebrow at her as she disappeared into her dressing room, 'don't look at me like that sweetheart. There hasn't been an appropriate time to tell him, and what with Alexander's solicitor phoning yesterday, it just wrong footed me, that's all,' she said as she came out still trying to button her jeans, which was starting to get a little difficult. Jess stifled a laugh as she watched Jane struggling to do up the button. It was still exceptionally early days for her pregnancy, so she wasn't exactly showing yet, but she'd obviously put on just enough weight to make doing up her trousers just that little bit tougher.

'Someone's put on a little weight I see,' Jess mocked playfully.

'Are you trying to call me fat?' Jane joined in, placing her hand onto her hip.

'Mum, you're a skinny bloody rake, no-one could ever accuse you of being fat,' Jess laughed.

'Well, these jeans always were a little on the snug side anyway,' Jane replied as she disappeared in to the adjacent room again.

'You need to tell him Mum; we've known for two weeks, we've got the house now, we've got our business to sort out, we've got a lot to do, and your morning sickness has been horrific for you. He's worried sick you know, although typical man that he hasn't jumped to any conclusions yet about why you're so sick, but hey ho.'

'I know darling, I know; I want to tell him, but the opportunity never seems to arrive and I'm still…'

'Doubting yourself, our happiness and Lovejoy?' Jess filled in, being able to practically read her mother's mind.

'Quite. I know you must think it awful of me not to have told him yet.'

'I don't think you're awful Mum, I could never think that of you. I think you're afraid and it's understandable. But you need to tell him before Christmas day, so that we can have something the four of us can really celebrate.'

Jane thought a lot about Jess' words as they walked quietly downstairs together. Jess grabbed some toast, kissed Jane goodbye and then left, leaving Jane to her thoughts. She knew what she had to do, and she wanted it to be exceptionally special when she did it.

Jess was on her way to Lovejoy's workshop. She'd planned to spend the day with him before he came round to Felsham Hall to spend the next few days at theirs for Christmas with Vicki. Ever since working on the Dalrymple house, she'd not had much time to spend with just the two of them, so she was excited to get a few hours with him to herself. As she pulled up outside his cottage she saw Miriam in the driveway and a light on in the outbuilding he used.

'Knock, knock!' She said as she trotted inside.

'Hello darling,' he said with a beaming smile at her. He was covered in sawdust and wood shavings from the work he was creating for a repair on an old sideboard. 'What do you think?' He asked her as he put his arm around her and gave her a tight squeeze and kiss on her temple.

'It's looking great Lovejoy!' She said as she admired the craftsmanship of the wooden side panelling with its twists and twirls carved by hand, his hand, into it.

She jumped up onto the workbench and grabbed a hold of a very old cricket ball that he kept lying around, and as she sat watching him work, she playfully tossed it in the air. She was deep in thought though about Alexander and his baby and about the guilt Jane was feeling still; she thought about her mum's relationship with Lovejoy and prayed she'd tell him soon and that he'd take the news well. However, the whole Alexander thing was really troubling her. She didn't want that man ruining her mum's happiness again, but she didn't know what to do for the best.

'How's your mum?' He asked her after a few minutes of concentrated silence.

'Hmmm?' She responded.

'Is everything alright Titch?' He asked as he looked up at her, concerned by her tone.

'Yes everything's fine, it's just…well…if I tell you something, do you promise not to hit the roof?' She asked timidly, feeling nervous about revealing her secret.

'Are you in some sort of trouble Jess? You know you can always talk to me, about anything that's troubling you,' he said softly as he put down his tools and stood in front of her, building himself up for bad news.

'Well…I don't really know what to say…because maybe I shouldn't say anything at all, because sometimes it's better just to let things go isn't it?' she rambled.

'Jess, just slow down a minute; what's wrong?'

'Alright. Say you knew something about someone that relates to someone else, but if that someone else knew about it, it would really hurt them. However, if you were to tell that person about it, it would help them to relax about a situation they were facing. What would you do?' She explained cryptically.

'I'm not following.'

'It's about Alexander,' she replied slowly as she took a deep breath and blinked back tears. 'When we met him in his hotel a few weeks back and we were just getting ready to leave, you and Mum had your backs to the staircase when I saw him coming out of the restaurant where he met up with a dark haired woman. He kissed her when they met, she made a fuss about his face after Mum slapped him, but…' she paused.

'But what?' He replied, already sounding pissed.

'…but, when she walked away…well…she was pregnant,' she said finally, and then prepared herself for the inevitable fireworks.

'That bastard!' Lovejoy shouted. 'What kind of a ma…how…I…' for the moment he was lost for words.

'I haven't told Mum, I don't even know if she knows about this girl, but she was quite far a long from what I could tell, so he'd obviously been seeing her whilst he was married to Mum.'

'Oh she knows alright. He'd been having an affair for the best part of two years according to some friend of your mother's. But that two-timing hypocrite! Why the hell did he force you and Janey through so much pain and heartache, when he's now got some tart knocked-up?' He ranted as he paced the workshop floor. He was trying really hard not to completely lose it, since Jess had asked him not to.

'The problem is Lovejoy, Mum is absolutely terrified about him finding out about…well you and her, and that if he does he'll use it against her in court and she'll be left without anything and with her reputation in tatters. I know if I tell her she'll be devastated by it because of what he'd done to me and her, but if I do tell her she'll be able to see that he wouldn't have a leg to stand on in court and then she can enjoy her…well future…with you, and me and everything,' she rambled, trying desperately hard not to give away exactly what that "future" was.

Lovejoy went on another rant about Alexander and about everything that had transpired over the ten years he'd known Janey. He shouted about how Alexander was a self-absorbed, privileged, stuck-up aristocrat who never had any concern for his wife, he ranted about how Alexander had never loved his wife, and yet she'd stuck by him and defended him through so much; he then called Alexander every profanity he could think of, making Jess laugh and they both knew that if Jane was there she'd have given him one of her famous glares and scold him for using such language in front of her daughter. But eventually he was calm enough for Jess to speak to him properly, and to get the comfort she needed.

'So what do I do?' She asked meekly.

'Well you do nothing, but we will tell her together, but after Christmas. She isn't due to meet with her solicitor until the day before New Year's Eve, so we'll tell her then,' he replied responsibly, now that he was a lot calmer.

'Thanks Dad,' she said as she hopped off the workbench and gave him a hug and the words came from her so naturally. She hadn't meant to say it, but now he understood how Jane had felt the first time, and probably every time, Jess had called her mum. He felt very emotional as he hugged her tightly, feeling as protective and as much love towards her as if she really was his daughter, and he couldn't wait to introduce her to Vicki. 'Are you still coming over tonight?' She asked after a while.

'Would I be anywhere else?' He whispered as he still clung to her tightly.

'Good,' she replied.

That evening they sat down to dinner in the kitchen, rarely using the dining room these days, and chatted happily. Jess felt better that she'd shared what had been troubling her for weeks, but it still bothered her that, when they eventually talk to her mum about it, it would cause her pain, and since she was pregnant, Jess didn't want to cause her any unnecessary distress.

'Mmmm, Mum that was delicious,' she said as she patted her full stomach, feeling slightly like a beached whale.

'Well, I know lasagne is your favourite, and is relatively healthy in comparison to what we will be eating over the next week,' Jane joked as she collected their plates.

'I'll do that Mum. Why don't you guys go and sit down for a bit and I'll bring you both in a cup of tea,' Jess said as she grabbed the plates from her Mum and took them over to the sink.

Doing as they were told, and making the most of Jess' offer, Lovejoy and Jane did exactly as they'd been instructed, and walked into the living room hand in hand. They sat next to each other on the sofa, with Jane's legs tucked underneath her and his arm wrapped around her shoulders. He kissed her gently, thanking his lucky stars that she was his to love, hold and cherish. How could Alexander not have appreciated this?

'Did you have a nice afternoon with Jess?' She asked him sleepily.

'We sure did,' he replied. 'She called me dad today,' he added, making Jane lift her head slightly as she looked at him.

'Really?'

'Uh huh, took me by surprise, but I'm glad she feels relaxed enough to say it.'

As they sat and cuddled on the sofa being warmed by the fire, Jess came in with a tea tray and poured them all a cup and handed it round. On the tray beside the bowl of sugar was a large white envelope with "Lovejoy" written on the front and decorated with little holly leaves and berries.

'What's this?' He asked as he picked it up.

'Well before you open it I want to explain something to you,' Jess said with a tone of seriousness and concentration, trying not to cry. 'This is your Christmas present from me Lovejoy, but I wanted to give it to you tonight whilst it was still just the three of us. You can open it now if you want,' she said nervously as she watched him carefully tear it open, and carefully fold back the documents inside. 'You know my story and you know that I never got to benefit from having a dad, but ever since I returned, you've loved and fought for me as if I was your very own. For a long time now I haven't thought of you as a friend, but I think of you as my dad…' she explained as she became teary and had to break off, giving both Lovejoy and Jane a few moments to read the documents in his hand.

Jess had made an adoption certificate, which named Lovejoy as the adopter with a declaration written under his and Jess' names, which detailed what Jess expected of him as her father.

'…you can't adopt me legally because I'm over the age of eighteen, but it felt important to me to do something to formally, in my books, make you my dad, so I made these adoption papers for all three of us to sign…' she explained as she tried to control her tears, but Jane had long given up on trying to control her's, and even Lovejoy was looking teary eyed.

'I don't know what to say Jess,' he said hoarsely, sniffing and blinking furiously.

'Well a yes would be nice,' she joked timidly, slightly afraid that he'd refuse her request, but as he held out his arm to her and pulled her to him, he held her tighter than he'd ever held her before.

'You and your mum mean the world to me Jess, more than you can possibly understand. I love you both and can't imagine my life without either of you in it. Since the day you returned I knew there was something special about you. You brought Janey and I together, and I've fallen in love with your tenacity, your sense of humour, and your love of life. I feel as if I've been your father your whole life, but it'd be an honour and a privilege to become your father officially Jess,' he beamed as he held his daughter tightly, and Jane was completely speechless.

Jess passed him a pen and he signed on the dotted line beside his name, then Jane signed hers and finally Jess sealed the deal with her signature at the bottom. Although the law would never acknowledge him as her legal father, to them all what Jess had done was far more important.

'I think I'll frame that,' he said after a few moments of emotional silence, making all three of them laugh.

'Actually Lovejoy, I have something for you as well,' Jane said as she wiped her eyes and looked at Jess, who knew exactly what was coming next and her beaming smile became even larger than ever before.

'Do you want me to leave you alone Mum?' She asked, sensing that this should maybe be a moment just between the two of them.

'No darling, but I do want you to pass me that box behind the clock,' Jane replied with excitement, the time had never been more right than now.

Jess looked at her mother with confusion, but did as she was asked and took a silver wrapped box from behind the clock on the mantelpiece. It had a pink and blue bow on it, which Jane had thought was very apt for what laid inside.

'Are you sure you want me to open this now Janey?' He asked as he took it from Jess, expecting it to be a watch or something like that.

'I've been trying to find a way to do this for a couple of weeks, and no time has been better than now,' she replied and then watched as he carefully unwrapped it.

'I must say, I'm feeling very spoilt by you ladies,' he said as he placed the paper to one side, and then slowly took off the lid, however, it wasn't something silver or shiny inside, but long and white with a red cross in a tiny window. 'Janey?' He said with astonishment as he looked at the love of his life, who was now crying tears of overwhelming joy.

'You've given me the best Christmas present of all Lovejoy,' she whispered as she took his hand and placed it over their growing unborn baby.


	5. Chapter 5

It was now Christmas Eve and Jess was in full out Christmas mode, although she was somewhat disappointed that there was still no sign of snow. She was wearing a sparkly Christmas jumper, flashing Christmas earrings, tinsel in her hair and had bought herself some elf shoe slippers. She had Christmas tunes blasting out in the kitchen, even despite her mum telling her to turn it down, baking ginger bread biscuits, and panels to make a house with. She'd baked minced pies and peppermint ices for the tree. The house smelt of baking, spices and all things Christmassy, and despite feeling thoroughly ill, Jane found Jess' excitement infectious.

'You really are a big kid at Christmas aren't you?' She said as she watched Jess with amusement as she sang along, badly, to one of the songs on the stereo.

'Yup,' she replied, as she concentrated on piping icing onto one of the many biscuits.

'You've baked enough to feed an army with,' Jane said as she snuck up to the counter and sneakily grabbed a biscuit before Jess could pull the plate away. 'I'm going to be the size of a house by the first of January!'

'Hey you, those are for tomorrow,' Jess playfully scolded as she tried to slap the back of Jane's hand, who cheekily stuck the biscuit into her mouth.

'These are really good!' Jane said through a mouthful of biscuit.

'Well you're going to be the size of a house soon anyway,' Jess commented with a really broad smile of excitement.

'Cheeky,' Jane replied with a smile.

'At least the ginger will help your stomach. How you feeling now?' Jess asked with genuine concern, referring to Jane's morning sickness, which had made her very ill all morning so far.

'I'm alright. I'll be fine in a few more weeks. I didn't really have too much with you, so I'm hoping it'll be the same this time,' she smiled. She didn't really care how ill it made her feel, she was excited to be pregnant.

Just as she was sitting down to the table to further watch Jess in her baking madness, Lovejoy came skipping into the kitchen, whistling Christmas songs. Ever since Jess and Jane had given him his presents he'd been over the moon and felt as if his heart was bursting with pride. He couldn't stop smiling, for himself, but mainly for Janey. He'd given her the one thing she wanted more in the world, and he was going to make damn sure she knew that he thought this was the best thing in the world. He was going to tell her every day how fantastic having a baby was going to be, how much it was going to be loved and he was going to make sure she enjoyed every millisecond of being pregnant. He didn't care what he was going to have to do, even midnight runs to the shop for those late night cravings were included, he was going to make sure this pregnancy was different; everything that had happened before was never going to happen again.

'Right, I'm off to pick young Miss Victoria up from the train station. I'll be back in about an hour,' he said as he threw on his duffle coat, something Jane had insisted on buying him last week. He walked up to Jane and kissed her more passionately than he'd ever kissed her before. 'You take care of yourself alright?' He said lovingly to her as he kissed her again and then placed his hand on her stomach, smiling with love and excitement like a silly teenager. Then he turned his attentions to Jess. 'Goodbye daughter,' he said with a smile as Jess turned with her floury hands and gave him a hug.

'Goodbye father,' she replied, getting flour all over his black coat. 'Oops! Sorry!' She added, but he didn't care.

'It'll brush off,' he said as he then disappeared.

'Have you met Vicki before?' Jess asked her mum cautiously as she drew her attentions back to her biscuits.

'I've met her several times; she's a really lovely girl. You'll like her a lot, I promise.'

'I hope so,' Jess replied, 'I just hope she doesn't mind me effectively stealing her dad.'

'Believe me when I say she won't mind in the slightest, and she's going to be overjoyed when we tell her about this little one,' Jane replied, but her reply took effort to say, as she felt her energy quickly slide as she began to feel sick again and then she went very silent for a few moments, before rushing off out of the kitchen towards the bathroom. Jess felt bad about it, but she couldn't help laughing.

When Jane returned she looked grey and a little washed out, but she was still smiling. Ever since telling Lovejoy and discovering that he wasn't angry about their baby, she'd felt completely relaxed. She hadn't realised how exhausting her anxiety had been, but now she could see how silly she had been. Lovejoy wasn't Alexander, and she knew that she needed to move on and enjoy every second of happiness he was going to give her and Jess.

After a while of more baking and singing, the front door swung open and they both heard a female voice calling out to them as Vicki trotted into the entrance hall, looking freezing cold but full of the joys of Christmas.

'Janey?!' She called, as Jane rushed to greet her, closely followed by a timid Jess. Vicki practically threw herself at Jane as she wrapped her in a big hug. She'd always really liked Jane, and had often got on better with her than she did her own mother Susan. 'Oh my God congratulations!' She added. 'Dad told me about the baby on the way over.'

'I couldn't keep it in a second longer Janey, I hope you don't mind,' he beamed, and she couldn't really begrudge him.

'Of course not. But are you excited about it? Really Vicki?'

'Excited? I'm delirious! I always wanted a younger brother or sister!'

'Me too actually, I hated being an only child sometimes,' Jess chipped in shyly, wondering what on earth to say or do to introduce herself, practically forgetting how to interact with other people.

'Vicki, this is Jess, my daughter,' Jane introduced proudly, and was delighted when Vicki, who was four years older than Jess, hugged the younger woman in greeting.

'Dad's talked a lot about you; I'm glad to finally meet you,' she said, and her welcoming response took Jess by surprise for a few moments, but then as she hugged her new stepsister, she felt delighted and relieved.

'It's great to meet you as well,' she smiled, still feeling a little timid.

As Lovejoy huffed the rest of Vicki's luggage into the hall and the three women chatted, he suddenly began sniffing the air.

'Can I smell something burning? He asked, and then the look of confusion on Jess' face turned to panic.

'SHIT!' She shouted as she rushed out of the hall and back into the kitchen. The other three laughed raucously at her. It was a brilliant start to what would be a great week, and even Jess managed to find it funny, as she reappeared with a tray of now blackened, Christmas shaped, smouldering cookies.

That afternoon the two girls made some more cakes and bakes, whilst Lovejoy and Jane snuggled up on the sofa beside the fire. She was still feeling very unwell, so she'd been banished to the warmth of the living room to relax, which she now felt she could do in the safe arms of Lovejoy.

'Do you really feel excited about the baby?' She asked, feeling a little tentative and in need of reassurance, something he appreciated and was happy to remind her of how excited he was and how much he loved her.

'Janey, you've made me the happiest man on earth,' he whispered to her, feeling happily tired as he wrapped his arms around her just that little bit tighter. 'I'm going to make this more special for you than you can possibly imagine. I promise it won't be like last time. I want us to talk about everything, I want us to be able to enjoy the first flutter of movement, the first kick, the first hiccup, everything. No matter what happens, I will support you, and love you,' he explained and as she looked up at him, her eyes were filled to the brim.

'Even when I'm as sick as hell at all hours, have horrific heartburn and indigestion, and when I'm crabby and hormonal?' She replied with a small smile.

'Even when you're calling me every name under the sun when you're in labour Janey, I'll still be there to hold your hand, I promise,' he joked in response.

'I know we've told Jess and Vicki, but I don't want to tell anyone else just yet, if that's alright with you? It's still early days yet…and well…'

'We can wait another month before telling anyone else. I remember with Vicki, those first three months were the happiest and yet most nerve wracking time of my life. But we'll book an appointment with the doctor after Christmas, and I can come with you if you want me to be there, then we can really get this ball rolling.'

'I can't wait for our first scan and to see our baby,' she replied as she tried to make herself sound as excited as she felt, but as another wave of nausea began to form, she sat up tentatively on the edge of the sofa in preparation, and just as Jess and Vicki arrived with a large stock pile of biscuits on a plate, she made a dash passed them with her hand over her mouth.

'Is it normal for someone to be as sick as this?' Jess asked Lovejoy, feeling somewhat concerned at how ill her mum was.

'The first few weeks can be very difficult for morning sickness; but as long as she keeps up her fluid intake and gets plenty of rest, she'll be fine,' he replied, not sounding particularly concerned, which put Jess more at ease.

As the evening grew dark around the grounds of Felsham, Jess and Vicki chatted happily, her previous nerves about meeting Lovejoy's daughter had completely vanished, and they talked as if they'd known each other all of their lives.

'He's not always been the best dad in the world,' Vicki whispered to her new stepsister. 'Don't get me wrong, if I've ever needed anything he's always been there to help me. It's just…'

'He wasn't around as often as you'd have liked,' Jess filled in.

'You got it! He and mum didn't get on very well after their divorce, they get on a lot better now, but she said he was too laid back; he always said that he trusted me to know my own mind and make my own decisions.'

'But at least he loves you, my biological dad couldn't give a shit about me. I sometimes wish I could just forget about him and pretend he never happened.'

'What was your relationship with your mum like? Your adoptive mum I mean.'

'I loved my mum a lot, we were really close, she was all the family I had except for my granddad of course. She could be strict when I was younger. I remember once when I was six, she'd told me off for something shortly after my dad had died and we were both still so raw, so her temper was a lot shorter than it would be normally. Anyway, I took the huff and decided I was going to run away, I only went to the shed at the bottom of the garden, but I freaked her out and I never saw her cry the way she did when she eventually found me.'

'You must miss her.' Vicki felt awful for pointing out the obvious, but she couldn't begin to imagine what Jess had been through. Her dad had told her everything about Jess, but hearing it from the young woman herself just made it ten times worse.

'I miss her every second of every day, and even after seven months I still can't believe she's gone, but having my mum and your dad to help me has been a blessing in disguise, I'd never have gotten through it without them,' Jess said as she glanced over to them, as they sat and cuddled on the sofa, but talk of her adoptive mum had made her feel melancholy and a little jealous of the fact that this new baby was going to have a mum and a dad and a large extended family. However, her feelings of jealousy made her feel guilty, because she didn't want there to be any negative feelings towards the baby; she wanted to make sure that it never experienced anything but love and positivity, and vowed to protect it at all costs. She couldn't stand the thought of anyone feeling the way she did.

'You know something Jess,' Lovejoy said as he looked round the room, 'I feel as if Christmas has exploded in here,' he explained as he looked at the hundreds of Christmas decorations Jess had put up over the last month. The living room sparkled with gold, silver, purple, red, green, blue, you name it! And Jess looked rather proud of herself.

'Of course,' she said with a smile. 'Although there's actually still a few bits in the box behind the sofa that I've not put up yet.'

'Oooo like what?' Vicki asked as she stood up and went behind her dad and Jane to where the box was.

'I can't believe I forgot to put THAT up!' Jess exclaimed as Vicki held something up, making Lovejoy and Jane look at the pair of them.

'Oh dear,' he groaned with a smile, knowing what was coming next.

'Where can we hang it?' Jess asked as she thought.

'How about the chandelier in the hallway?' Vicki suggested, so the two of them rushed out to put it up.

Jess grabbed a chair and teetered on top of it as she tried to tie the ribbon around a large bunch of mistletoe round one of the glittering branches of the light, but she was just a fraction too short, so Vicki volunteered to go up next, carefully supported by Lovejoy and Jess, and watched from the doorway by Jane. As she watched them she thought about all of her other Christmases, and never remembered enjoying one as much as this, and she smiled with delight as she then watched Lovejoy and Jess help Vicki down, placing all three of them underneath the mistletoe. Jess and Vicki glanced at each other, before they kissed their dad on each cheek simultaneously. He then kissed each of them in turn, before they walked away and he held out his arms to encourage Jane towards him. She approached him slowly, feeling overwhelmed by how much she loved him and how much he loved her, and as he kissed her it wasn't a quick peck, it was a long passionate kiss which told them both so much. Everything that was happening to her, Jane had waited so long for, and as their kiss was just coming to an end, the two girls pulled out a couple of party poppers from their pockets that Jess had stashed in the box, and popped them loudly, blowing streamers and glitter everywhere.

Eventually they moved back into the living room feeling giddy and excited, but as Jess approached the box of decorations again, she pulled out a silver tree trinket with red ribbon. It was a small nativity scene, complete with donkey, sheep, kings and shepherds; but most importantly for Jess, it had the Holy family sat round the crib. She and her mother had bought it several years earlier and the thought of buying it suddenly made her sad. She remembered all the times she and her mother had shared at Christmas, the fact that it had been them who had baked cookies for the tree together, the hot chocolate they'd shared beside the fire before she'd gone to bed and the fact that she'd been allowed to open one present on Christmas Eve, which was always new pyjamas. Her heart ached for her mum and she felt guilty for being so happy with her new family.

'Darling are you alright?' Jane asked with sudden concern as she saw her daughter's teary eyed expression.

'Yeah; yeah I'm fine…' she croaked as she wiped away her tears. 'I was just thinking about Mum, that's all.'

'Oh sweetheart, I'm sorry,' Jane whispered as she hugged Jess tightly.

Everyone took a few moments of silence to think about everything Jess had been through this year, and the mood between them all was very melancholy as Jess walked up to the tree and placed the ornament prominently on it.

'Tell you what, why don't I make us all some hot chocolate before we go to bed?' Lovejoy asked quietly, the mood more sombre than before.

'I'd like that,' Jess said hoarsely as she quietly curled into Jane's side on the sofa whilst Vicki sat in front of the fire. 'Oh this is ridiculous,' she added with frustration as she tried to pick herself up. 'Mum wouldn't want me wallowing in self-pity.'

'No she wouldn't Jess, she'd want you to be happy, and I know that she's as proud of you as I am. You've been through so much this year, but look at everything you've achieved as well,' Jane said as she cuddled her daughter tighter.

'I know, and I'm delighted that I've got you guys. Next year is going to be amazing, I'll make sure of that,' Jess replied just as Lovejoy arrived with their hot chocolate.

With their mood brighter again they all sat and chatted, drank hot chocolate and enjoyed the warmth of the fire. Jess couldn't believe how lucky she was to have her family around her like this, and thought about how happy she actually was after such an awful year; she was delighted to see Jane looking so happy as she laid in Lovejoy's arms, who would place a gentle kiss to her forehead every now and again. She loved watching them together, and couldn't wait for them to be a proper family in their own home, and she smiled as she imagined them sitting like this in the living room next to the roaring fire, under the wooden beams. She dreamed about how different Jane's life would be and hoped that she'd cope with a much quieter life, but something told her that she would be alright.

'Right, that's it from me I'm afraid, I'm exhausted,' Jane yawned as she dislodged herself from Lovejoy's arms.

'Yeah, I think it's time I went up to bed too, otherwise Santa won't come,' Jess said as she stood up.

They all went upstairs, chatting happily, whilst Lovejoy walked with his arms around Jane's waist. He loved her so much and couldn't wait for her to open his gift, although it wasn't going to be nearly as good as the one she'd given her. She'd given him another daughter and a new baby on the way, he was delighted and ecstatic and couldn't believe how lucky he was.

Jess and Vicki said goodnight and disappeared into their rooms, leaving Jane and Lovejoy on the landing. They walked in the direction of her bedroom, stopping at the door of another one of the spare bedrooms. He spun her round in his arms and kissed her gently.

'I do love you,' he whispered.

'I love you too Lovejoy, more than you know,' she said back with a shy smile.

'This is going to be an amazing Christmas,' he replied as he kissed her again, placed his hand on her stomach and smiled. 'Goodnight Janey,' he added as he went to disappear into the spare bedroom, making Jane frown.

'Aren't you joining me Lovejoy?'

'Well, I thought we were taking things slowly, remember?'

'Lovejoy, we're having a baby together…I think we're a little beyond "taking things slowly", don't you agree?' She replied with a nervous smile.

'I suppose you're right,' he replied before they disappeared further up the hall.


	6. Chapter 6

Jess' eyes sprung open as she awoke on Christmas morning. The house was freezing and all was quiet; just how she liked it. As she rubbed her eyes and sat up she heard a little bark from the end of her bed, Toby's way of greeting before he tucked his head back down and went back to sleep, but he watched her with one eye as she walked over to her window as she barrelled her dressing gown round her shoulders. She pulled back her curtain just a smidgen, not particularly expecting much, but there it was in all its glistening glory. As she knelt on the window seat looking out, suddenly she was joined by the little border terrier who was panting with excited glee.

'Nope, no walkies today sunshine,' she said as he looked at her and cocked his head. 'Well if I took you out there I'd lose you in seconds,' she added as she lifted him up and hugged him close, just as there was a knock on the door. 'Yeah?'

Jane entered looking exceptionally pale and tired, but despite how she felt, she was determined to make this the best Christmas she'd ever had; which it already was because of the people she was spending it with. Never had she had such a chilled out Christmas morning. Normally Alexander expected her to be up, dressed, breakfast had, church, then they'd come home and exchange their gifts before quickly getting ready for their guests, usually his brother and sister-in-law with their kids, who would stay until after Boxing Day when a group of them would go shooting. It now felt so impersonal to Jane and so military, whereas this year she was going to relax with the people that she loved more than anything else.

'Happy Christmas darling,' she said as she hugged her daughter tightly and counted herself lucky to have her there.

'Happy Christmas Mum. Are the others up yet?'

'No, they're both still fast asleep. I was up at the bathroom and thought there was no point going back to sleep,' she replied with a grimace as her stomach gave a nauseating churn.

'Have you looked outside?' Jess said as she grabbed Jane's hand and marched her over to the window, who then gasped with delight.

'I didn't think we'd get a white Christmas,' she said, just as Lovejoy's sleepy form entered the doorway.

'You two don't half make some racquet in the morning,' he yawned.

'Yup, you'll have to get used to it too,' Jess said as she ran over to him and wrapped her arms around his waist. He gave her a loving cuddle and squeezed her tightly. 'Happy Christmas Dad,' she said and he smiled at Jane with blissful delight.

Eventually Vicki joined them, still half asleep and begrudging the cold, but excited to be spending the time with her new family. They all sat downstairs among the piles of presents and began to pass them round to each other. Jess felt like a child again, happy and excited as she tore open her presents from her mum and dad. She had new CDs, art supplies and a new SLR camera with several lenses and filters, plus one of the latest mobile phones. She'd never had one before and was excited and absolutely delighted by everything she'd been given, and Jane felt relieved that could now easily contact her daughter when she was out on a job which meant that Jess was getting much more responsibility. But Jess' excitement was more enthusiastic about the present she was giving to Jane.

She poked around under the tree until she found a small rectangular shaped box. It was wrapped in bright red shiny paper and had a gold bow on top. As she passed the small box to Jane, she looked at her with a glint in her eye, and watched intently as Jane ripped open the festive paper to reveal a blue velvet box. When she opened the box she found a glittering silver heart-shaped locket inside.

'Oh darling it's beautiful!' She exclaimed as she pulled it out.

'Come here, let me help you,' Lovejoy whispered as he brushed aside Jane's hair and carefully fiddled with the clasp.

'There's nothing actually inside it yet, but I thought we could take a nice picture today to include,' Jess stated with a broad smile at a teary eyed Jane.

'I love it, thank you,' she replied as she hugged her daughter closely.

After all the ripping and exclaiming was done, Jane went into the kitchen to start on breakfast. Normally she and Alexander would have had a full cooked breakfast, but this year she had planned a very simple, light breakfast of croissants, tea and coffee with fresh fruit juice.

'Come here Mum, let me do that,' Jess said as she watched Jane struggling to make the coffee, the smell too overpowering for her and making her gag. 'Maybe you should sit down for a bit, you look like you might be about to pass out.'

'No, no, I'm fine,' Jane replied as she tried to brush away her daughter's concerns, but Jess raised her eyebrow at her with a look of disapproval.

After sorting the coffee, Jess then crowbarred her way towards the oven, shooing Jane out of the way until her mother gave in. Then Vicki came in to help as well, giving Jane no option but to sit down and rest, which was just as well, because shortly after breakfast her sickness started again, barely letting up throughout the day. However, she had her lovely family to look after her, who made sure that she had plenty to drink and eat throughout.

'Anyone fancy going out for a walk before dinner?' Jess asked as she looked out at the glistening snow and feeling too tempted not to go out.

'Just a walk?' Vicki asked with raised brows, clearly having had the same idea.

'Weeeeeeeeell…..' Jess replied mischievously, as they glanced at each other and then ran to grab their coats, gloves and scarves.

'Any idea what they're on about?' Jane asked Lovejoy with confusion, feeling much better than she had done earlier.

'Not a clue,' he replied as equally perplexed.

'Well they're your daughters,' she replied with a broad smile, which made him smile a toothy grin as well. It was a point he couldn't argue with.

By the time they had put on their coats and Lovejoy made sure Jane was wrapped up warmly, Jess and Vicki were already rushing off into the distance with two sledges in hand. In east Anglia there wasn't very many hills, but there was a small slope about a half mile away from Felsham Hall. The girls would have to walk round the back of the house and through the fields to get to the tree-lined mound. Jess loved sledging and remembered the times when her mum took her as a child to Ally-Pally. They would spend hours sliding up and down the hills there…come to think of it, they spent hours rolling up and down the hills during the summer too, laughing raucously until their sides hurt. The happy thoughts of her and her mum together made Jess' heart ache. She was trying so hard not to feel sad today because she felt so happy to be there with people she loved and to be having fun.

As she and Vicki got to the top of the hill they lined up their sledges next to each other, sat down upon them and then glanced menacingly at each other. Jess loved the thought of having someone to do this with just as daft as she was.

'Ready?' Vicki asked.

'Ready,' Jess confirmed. 'Three...'

'Two…'

'ONE!' They said in unison as they then slid down the hillside, which didn't take too long, but was long enough to have fun…and for Vicki to be the winner.

'I won!' She shouted with glee.

'You had an unfair advantage!' Jess said as she reached the bottom and stood up.

'How exactly?'

'I've no idea,' Jess laughed as they then raced to the top again, pushing each other in the snow and laughing just as Lovejoy and Jane arrived. 'Careful you don't slip Mum,' she said with worry. The last thing she wanted was for Jane to slip and injure herself or potentially lose the baby, and with that thought she suddenly became very concerned about all of the things that could go wrong for her mum.

Jess and Vicki spent a couple of hours racing up and down the hill, but then joined their dad on Felsham's snowy lawn as they rolled a giant snowball each. They placed them next to each other as Jane joined them again holding scarves and carrots and coal for the eyes. He helped them to place one ball on top of the other, as they soon created four bodies, which Jess then made heads for. She sculpted them to resemble herself and her family, including a rather plump looking Janey.

'My hips are not that big!' She exclaimed with a laugh.

'That's your baby bump, not your hips!' Jess replied mischievously, giggling like a child.

By the time they finished they had four very identifiable snowmen looking towards the house, with broad coal smiles which matched the smiles of the four very cold and very tired people now sat inside. Jess made them all hot chocolate as she passed them round to everyone whilst they sat by the fire; their faces were all tinged red and their hands and feet numbed by the cold.

'I've never had so much fun,' Jane said as she snuggled into Lovejoy's side.

'This really has been a great first Christmas together,' Jess replied sleepily as she bit into one of her biscuits.

'Hey young lady, you won't eat your dinner if you keep eating them,' Lovejoy said, just as he dislodged Jane and then stood up. 'Which I had better get started on,' he added.

He disappeared into the kitchen and left the three girls to it. It took him a while to cook the dinner, which was nothing particularly lavish. It was a Sunday roast with a few extra trimmings, unlike the four course banquets that Jane used to prepare. This was her perfect dinner.

The more and more she stripped back her aristocratic life the freer she felt, she was becoming a lot more like Jess, but perhaps it was just that Jess was a lot like her, the real her who was artistic, creative, laid back and good humoured. She was surrounded by people who genuinely loved her for the person that she wanted to be, they had no preconceptions about who they thought she should be.

The next few days were full of sleepy relaxation, snowball fights and board games by the fire. It was the perfect Christmas as far as they were all concerned. Jess and Vicki bonded a lot during their time together, and it was clear that their relationship was going to continue to grow over the next few months particularly. Lovejoy fawned a lot over Jane, just as Jess wanted it and wouldn't have had it any other way, but as she watched them together, particularly when they thought she wasn't looking, she worried about their happiness and the secret that she, and now Lovejoy, knew.

The day before New Year's Eve Jane met with her solicitor. She had filed the divorce, but Alexander was contesting the grounds on which she was attempting to divorce him. Naturally she had filed under "Acts of Unreasonable Behaviour" and had detailed some of his actions which she discussed with her solicitor in detail.

'Are you sure you'll be alright on your own Mum?' Jess asked with uncertainty as she pulled the range rover into a space on the street outside.

'I'll be fine. Douglas has been my solicitor and family friend for decades, it'll be alright I promise,' she said as she climbed out, and then walked stylishly into the office.

As she sat in the waiting area she felt nervous. She wished Alexander had just agreed to the petition so they could both move on, but he of course had to just prolong her agony, and as she went into Douglas' office and spent the next hour discussing her options, she realised that she had no other choice but to proceed with the case in court, meaning that both she and Alexander would have to face each other in front of a judge after all, something she'd hoped to avoid.

'Well? How'd it go?' Jess asked when Jane entered the small café round the corner from the solicitor's office.

'It could have been better. Alexander has decided to contest my reasoning for divorce, but Douglas has advised that we proceed anyway with our application for the decree nisi, which could take some time.'

'But what does all that mean?'

'Well in short it means that I will now be required to face him in court. He's wanting to present himself as the wronged husband in all of this, I don't know why but I've a good mind to take him to the cleaners…is that the expression?'

'Yeah that's it,' Jess giggled. 'So how quickly can we do this then?'

'Douglas couldn't really be specific; it could take months I'm afraid.'

'But it can't! I mean…what about the baby?'

'We'll think of something darling, don't worry.' But Jane wasn't convinced herself, let alone Jess.

The following night the four of them were gathered in the living room to wait for the new year to arrive, Jess pulled Lovejoy into a corner for a chat whilst Vicki sat watching TV and Jane napped on the sofa. Jess was worried, really worried, about the little situation they were facing. Before he had found out about their baby Lovejoy was all for telling Jane about her love-rat husband - he and Jess had agreed to wait until after Christmas, but now that she was pregnant it was a whole different ball game.

'I know we should tell her, but I don't want to distress her. She's washed out enough as it is with her morning sickness,' he explained in very hushed whispers.

'Yeah, but look at what the worry about the baby is doing to her as well. She's worried that he's going to paint an awful picture of her. I don't want that bastard to jeopardise her happiness about this baby. Every aspect is to be perfect…even despite her sickness.'

'What are you two concocting over there?' Jane asked sleepily as she stirred from her nap. She felt exhausted, and could have happily gone to bed, but she was determined to make it to one minute past midnight at least and see in the New Year with her family. Once again Myles and Prue had invited them over to theirs, but Jane wanted to start her New Year exactly as she intended it to progress, alone with her daughter, step-daughter and Lovejoy, although her severe sickness had meant that she'd been relegated to the living room most of the time – not that she was complaining really, since Jess had been waiting on her hand and foot to make sure she was comfortable.

'Are you alright Mum?' Jess asked as she quickly moved away from her secret discussions and went to her mum's side, who was stretched out on the sofa.

'I'm fine sweetheart. Really, you should stop worrying.'

'I know, but I do worry. I want you to be spoilt rotten and taken very good care of,' Jess said as she sat next to her mum and held her tightly.

'I'll make us all a cuppa shall I?' Lovejoy said as he disappeared into the kitchen.

'I'm sorry you two, this must seem like a very dull New Year for you both,' Jane stated.

'Are you kidding? It's one of the best I've ever had. I get to spend it with who I want and not have to be forced into the company of my aunts and uncles, who my mother can't stand anyway but she insists we visit,' Vicki explained with a smile.

Ten minutes later and Lovejoy had returned with a tea tray and some biscuits left over from Jess' baking frenzy, just in time for a New Year celebration like no other…very quiet, very peaceful and most definitely the most enjoyable he'd ever had, just as the clock on the mantelpiece chimed midnight.

'Happy New Year everyone!' Jess exclaimed with delight. In a way she was delighted that the old year was over - what a distressing rollercoaster of a ride it had been. But now she had so much to look forward to, and she smiled broadly as she watched Lovejoy wrap his arms lovingly around Jane's waste, pull her in close to him and kiss her tenderly. Jane looked so happy, and she had mixed feeling about letting the old year go.

In some respects, it had been an awful year with a lot of changes, heartache and facing many old demons, but never in her wildest dreams could she have envisaged that she'd have had her baby standing in front of her today. Nor could she have imagined that she would be standing in Lovejoy's arms, a warm, tender and loving place to be, and as her stomach lurched nauseatingly, she gave a small smile and she ran her hand over her stomach. She knew that this next year was going to have its struggles with Alexander, she was going to have quite a fight on her hands, but with the move, the baby and her future with her new family, she couldn't wait for the year to begin.

'Happy New Year!' She replied.

 **And that's it for another story =D But don't worry, another is being written as we speak. Thanks to everyone for your reviews and comments they really mean a lot and to Alli for all her help, advice and feedback.**


End file.
